my own Extreme sense of Righteousness

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weedguru_animal
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my own Extreme sense of Righteousness

Post by weedguru_animal » Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:38 pm

Im am nothing but a shell of the man you once felt I was...paraphrasing and altering Sage...makes me chuckle, as much as it makes me sick to my core. For what am I?????????????????????????????far beyond a reflection of my parents, far beyond a reflection of my chosen brethren////....I am now a creature, of intense intellect, of intensely childish fairytale idealism when it comes to ROMANCE...despite such a stance, leading me, over and over again into HELL. I remain there...allowing my heart to suggest true romance, as my loins demand PUSSY, PUSSY, PUSSY...and then when I manage to encourage into my realm the mixture of the two. what am i left with????Other than my own Extreme sense of Righteousness...????

Lets be straight. Here and now...as i listen to The Killers- Mr Brightside...I fucking cry...because this song reminds me of, takes me back to, sitting in The Hub, in Brighton, and telling my nearest and dearest brother, Grant/.//////of a horrible story from my childhood...and his instinct, was to demand the barman turn up the volume, and to hug me tightly....he is a man i love, like a brother...we would go to war for each other, despite the fact, that when it comes to brutality, he is more naturally well equipped than me...but he knows/././that as well as if he ever even learned about a man after me, let alone hurting me, if i learned the same, of a man eager to cause him harm, i would scalp them...

as for this song...it needs no more elaboration. It just makes me miss him...it makes me miss feeling physically that close to a man, who loves me, knowing all my faults, all my strengths, just knowing me...and me, in turn knowing, that, no matter the enemy, he would go to war for me...I love him so fucking deeply from so many miles away//

I write everyday...but he is the last man i will write to. why??? because it hurts me, to be reminded, and forced to deal with, the distance between us....
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wgToonces
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Re: my own Extreme sense of Righteousness

Post by wgToonces » Mon Dec 13, 2010 3:48 am

Sorry to hear your troubles man. Just know that you got a guy here in Scotland ready to fight to the death for you too ;) and for anyone else who truely speaks the truth about themselves as humans and about the world and the way it is today. Someone who stands up for humanity.

You'll be with your brother again in this life man, so keep your big ginger chin up and stay happy you fuck!
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Re: my own Extreme sense of Righteousness

Post by AbbyRoad » Mon Dec 13, 2010 4:05 am

i understand your sentiments completely animal.
my soul sister lives far away.
this woman and i have been through blood sweat and tears together. we survived and even thrived in the sometimes horrors of our young woman hood. i love her, as if i could bleed for her. the one person that we can share our deepest fears and thoughts. because even though we both have boyfriends and lovers, there are some things that cannot be shared with that person. we need each others advice to see through the bull shite that is life
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Re: my own Extreme sense of Righteousness

Post by weedguru_animal » Mon Dec 13, 2010 8:45 am

cheers you two...for reading and likely digesting. And commenting warmly...

Its a sign of my times. That I can find such words at the bottom of a bottle of smirnoff...I am hellishly into squealing presently. Squealing about my people, my brothers, the world...and when i drink enough to truly lose control, what comes out, you read above. Its close to amusing, that, despite what I am ranting, when so fucking lost, i still manage to write fine and dandy. as in...readably.

I am in a funk of sorts. Angry as Hell. Its the result of a period if conflict and change. the conflict is regarding my father...the change is focused on the frenchies, who i loved as deeply as I hated, and my german sister, leaving the house here. I am unsettled...and with my sister back home in blighty, heading back into the hospital to be unstitched and then stitched back up. after the glorious NHS didnt stitch her up right when she had the baby, i am...far from ideal.
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Re: my own Extreme sense of Righteousness

Post by AbbyRoad » Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:14 pm

i think there a few times in our lives when we are "ideal" and even those times are only sweet and brief. most dont even notice how good we had it until long after when they are looking back from some hellish vantage point.

i am also going through a rough patch, i dont know where i am going or who i should travel there with. but still i feel as if these periods of conflict and change are rife with possibilty and creative forces at work. if only i had the facilities to harness and control these energies instead of letting them steamroll over my life.

i crave the warmth and comfort of old friends and haunts
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Re: my own Extreme sense of Righteousness

Post by weedguru_animal » Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:35 am

lovely, sincere, open words abby...im glad that you shared them.
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