Animal's World CUp 2010 DiarY

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Animal's World CUp 2010 DiarY

Post by weedguru_animal » Sun Jun 13, 2010 6:14 am

It begins...

After missing the first night of games, due to a vodka storm, I am now prepared to get my canines stuck into the 2011 world cup, and how fitting, that we begin our descent into oblivion, with a look at one of the favourites for the title, Diego Maradona's boys in blue...

Reception is wretched. Impossible to tell whether the loud hissing noise is due to the intoxicated African crowd or the TV...Its the much fancied Argies taking on the brutal blacks of Nigeria.

I see Veron...the nasty fucker from Inter, Samuel...Mascherano...This team oozes quality...Messi...Tevez. Their fans in fine fettle.

The Africans on home soil,of sorts...anthem is shameful. No chance for the 'brutal blacks', as they are affectionately known by their fanatical supporters.

I can't see anything but a simple victory for the boys in blue.

Excited about first chance to see the hotly tipped for the top Di Maria...

Krout referees. I trust him. No nonsense...

Danny Shit and Joseph Yobo...decent defenders, solid, fierce, fearless. As they will need to be...

Their coach lars lagerbeck, wily warrior, knows how to organize, to make the most of what is available. Studious, cunning.

Fragmented cOMMEntary...

Early sparks of life from Messi. Higuain appears solid, composed, yet lacking invention.

GOAL....Veron corner leads to first blood drawn, bullet header by totally unmarked Heinz...Superb header, but truly woeful marking.

Diego Maradona looks like a gangster, not a football manager...he doesn't organize this team. He just picks it. Clearly...and even that task seems beyond him, else why the hell are Cambiasso and Zanetti missing from the squad let alone the first XI???

tevez battling, and winning, against players 5 times his size, leaving them whining like pigs in the slaughterhouse.

Messi, dangerous every time he gets the ball. Powerful, direct running. His change of pace and direction, drop of the shoulder, is phenomenal. World Class...

Chimpy is a mixture, aesthetically, not talent wise, between Tevez and Yakubu.

DI Maria invisible. Messi kept at bay repeatedly by Nigeria Keeper, who refuses to flap...

oswald, my wolverine hound, has an old soul. He has been here before. Nothing seems to surprises him, as already he knows exactly what he like and what he hates. A Cross soul...

Second half Nigerians give more threat, but little end product, save one powerfully hit drive from Taiwo...hit the ball so hard, that he foot fell off, then dies of blood loss by the side of the field, as maradona taunts him with the missing foot in his teeth...

Veron increasingly poor. Ferguson will be turning in his grave to see what he once paid $400m for...Rightfully subbed. At least maradona saw this...odd situation of 4 centre backs on the field.

Messi gunned down by Martins...but recovers to continue.

Final Score: Argies 1-0 Nigeria

Conclusion.

They could and should have won by far more than the solitary goal, but the Nigerian keeper had an exceptionally fine game. There is a huge amount of talent in this argie team. The threats coming from several areas. Not enough to try close the door on Messi. Which can't be done, so why bother wasting energy there eh??? Tevez and Higuain are clearly capable of causing concern to all but the most resolute of defences. Some of the Messi footwork was sublime, on another day he would be walking home with the match ball, and a hatrick. Promising performance by the Nigerians, acceptable effort by the Argies, though they MUST involve Di Maria more if they are to prosper. Who was anything but involved for most the match...or replace him. The question on everyone's lips remains unanswred: Will Maradonna, if his team reach the final, emerge from the boredom of retirement to start in attack??? Only time will tell...

Man Of The Match _ Enyeama (NIG). The only man preventing a MEssi inspired whitewash...

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Re: Animal's World CUp 2001 DiarY

Post by Weedguru Higher » Sun Jun 13, 2010 11:08 am

2001 diary? You got a time machine Animal???
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Re: Animal's World CUp 2001 DiarY

Post by (weedguru)scarf » Sun Jun 13, 2010 11:20 am

hahaha...

i like the blog like reporting
woah

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Re: Animal's World CUp 2010 DiarY

Post by weedguru_animal » Mon Jun 14, 2010 8:33 am

England v Yankees

This IS the one game, in the group stage, I am most hopeful, desperate even, for my English comrades to win. The chance to make a presentation of our intentions, to do more than flatter to deceive, to do more than, once the pressure builds, show far less than the sum of our impressive collective facets. Is it too typically English of me to say 'we have the best chance for many years', when we have two of the finest midfielders in the game, Gerrard and Lampard, arguably a striker as potentially potent as Messi, the dishonourable, but superbly solid Terry at the back, and half decent players on the flanks...the only major, obvious problem with the English, is the lack of a quality keeper.

Yankees ALWAYS have a good spirit, a rugged approach to the combative elements, pacey, determined players. A squad with no real stars, other than perhaps the snake faced Donovan..still, for me, they embarrassed themselves terribly, when McBride faked that injury in the last world cup...and while they have recovered their form, they can never recover my respect.

Bradley, son of the manager, is a psycho. No thought processes in effect, just animalistic impulses, leading him onwards.

Edison Buddle- confident, smooth, all smiles...

Defensive problems for England, Ferdinand dead, resulting in strange decision to bring in the always injured King. What other country, with any real pretensions of winning the trophy, start a player in defence who hasn't played for the team for 3 years, and who is not fit enough to train properly with his club team, let alone the national outfit???? On top of this, Milner, who is starting, has been sick of late...
prediction 1-1.

Anthems:
Rooney roars 'engerland!!! FUCKING ENG-ER-LAND!!!!'
miliner+Yakubu+Tevez= Chimpy.
US—awful sound. I loathe Donovan, and truly, hope he gets shot...as Lalas is burned to a crisp, ginger beard and all...
where's mcrbide??? still crying...
England fans drinking in the stands.
Brazilian officials.

Yankees huddle. Stuart 'eat my shit' pearce, dressed and ready to play...though he wasn't selected for the squad...why didn't anyone tell him??? Rooney seems so sweet, childlike, a grisly cherub.

The GAMe

4' GOAL...Heskey links up beautifully with Gerrard, whose intelligent run into the box meets the ball, one touch and then a delicate outside of the right foot prod past Howard. Lovely goal...Perfect timing...poetry in commotion/.

Rooney well marshalled, decent only in glimpses.

Heskey nails howard...black and black.

31' Milner subbed...rightly so, as already on a yellow, and looking very out of sorts.
Balance of play even. Neither team threatening.

GOAL...1-1...disgusting mistake by Green. Simple shot by Dempsey, fumbled into his own net, with the world watching on, mouths gaping...its too late, Green, the game is up, that is the end of your england career. Awful decision by Capello to field him, as I have seen him make such errors several times before. Schoolboy stuff...as the commentary team gloated
'one of the softest goals you will EVER see at this level'...

King injured...doubt we will see him again this June. Another Capello risk that went wrong...

Green goes some way to make up for the error with a smart save close range in the second...but no real change in the ebb and flow of the game...the US happy, England demoralized, but keeping the fuckers at bay, generally..

Final Score 1-1

Conclusion

This is clearly a great result for the americans, and a shocking result for England. Gerrard does not seem suited to the captains role. Even though Terry is a swine, I would prefer to see him wearing the armband, as he has leadership skills. The yanks were as expected, very organized, solid, full of running and in fine mental condition as well as physical. Hard to beat, but unlikely to do well against the top teams, if they are in decent form. As for my beloved England...its the same fucking problem. All over again. So much promise, but so little substance. Johnson and Cole were fine, as was Terry..however, a decent partner for Terry needs to be found, fast. Gerrard and Lampard in the middle...perhaps too pedestrian, as both want to play the exact same role. Why wasn't Joe Cole involved???? Milner ploy failed badly...Lennon and wright phillips useless. Heskey and Rooney lacking decent service...we didn't lose, but due to the manner of the Dempesy goal, this feels like defeat...

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Re: Animal's World CUp 2010 DiarY

Post by weedguru_animal » Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:03 am

slovenia v algeria

Its a free for all. White v black...no household names...just two teams with no hope for serious success, going at it, looking to make their mark...Cannon fodder.

1-0 to the slovenians. I watched the game, but saw nothing, not even the goal...oswald rat, trying to eat the wooden cabinet, seemed far more fertile happenings to sink my mind's teeth into.

Conclusion:


Neither team have the means to trouble the yanks or english. Lots of effort, but a complete dearth of talent. Perhaps Slovenia will fancy their chances of causing an upset, but I very much doubt this will happen...At least they can aim for third in the group

Serbia v Ghana

Another black on white battle, but this time I expect much much more, from BOTH teams. For Serbia qualified with relative ease, from a decent group. And Ghana, have some talent in their ranks, alligned with muscle...

Wanted War Criminal General Mladic, somehow allowed to sit on the Serb bench, in full army attire...strangely, there is a Serb in charge the africans. Conflict of heart and mind possible...will he throw the game??? or dig the knife deep into the soft underbelly of his evil homeland???

I have been drinking vodka heartily, and also sampling the home grown greenery of the new boyfriend of german Julia from my household. A decent chap, with an interest in the tournament, though sadly, suffering from the same blind optimism, regarding antartica's chances, like so many of his countrymen...still...the company is warm and the weed welcome. However, so stoned I had become, that before the game begins, we are watching a DVD, and I comment on how perfect the tv reception had become...

I am eager to see Krasic, as my fanatically supported Juve are considering paying 15m for his services...

The GAME


early impressions of the blonde krasic, far from impressive. Perhaps he is shy, overawed by the occasion. I hope so...as he doesnt look worth 15 sterlings let alone 15million gold nuggets,....

Serbs beating on the ghanians. Leaving them wounded, in a pool of seared black flesh and steaming hot blood.

The serbian players look typically more animal, cobra ferrets, than humans...Gyan is still playing!!! though he looks 50, and his face never changes, zero expressive capability of countenance....

'balkan blood is evil, something dark, menacing...' the commentaor, strangely suggests...

Kolarov dangerous from set pieces, solid left peg...

time moving ON...nothing happening...perhaps Serbs looking more likely to break the deadlock...
PENALTY...blatant, stupid handball by serbian defender...
the Old Man Of The Hill, steps up, GYAN...its IN>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Final Score...1-0 to the ghanains.

Conclusion:

Serbia were a shadow of the team I saw during qualifying. Which seems to be a mental problem, not due to the strong resistance put up by their opponents. On this form, they will struggle. Not much better can be said of Ghana, who matched their opponents, and got lucky with the error that led to their winner. This group will be interesting, as no doubt, the germans will pummel antartica...leaving second place wide open...It may come down to Who concedes the fewest goals against the Germs???? But I would not be surprised if Serbia come to life and show a hell of a lot more than we have just seen...for they have quality in the ranks, presently misfiring quality, but still...its there.

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Re: Animal's World CUp 2010 DiarY

Post by cutthecashflow » Mon Jun 14, 2010 5:31 pm

weedguru_animal wrote: Conclusion

This is clearly a great result for the americans, and a shocking result for England. Gerrard does not seem suited to the captains role. Even though Terry is a swine, I would prefer to see him wearing the armband, as he has leadership skills. The yanks were as expected, very organized, solid, full of running and in fine mental condition as well as physical. Hard to beat, but unlikely to do well against the top teams, if they are in decent form. As for my beloved England...its the same fucking problem. All over again. So much promise, but so little substance. Johnson and Cole were fine, as was Terry..however, a decent partner for Terry needs to be found, fast. Gerrard and Lampard in the middle...perhaps too pedestrian, as both want to play the exact same role. Why wasn't Joe Cole involved???? Milner ploy failed badly...Lennon and wright phillips useless. Heskey and Rooney lacking decent service...we didn't lose, but due to the manner of the Dempesy goal, this feels like defeat...
dave the mistake by Green left me dumbfounded, that was a goal that even I, a man who has never entertained the notion of soccer could stop blindfolded. It left me revered, but at the same time in vexed with the whole situation. By all means I will take a tie with England any day of the week. What's even more the Americans almost won the game at 64:00 when Altidore hit the post, my heart almost came out of my mouth on that one. Furthermore I feel that credit needs to be given to the Yankee goaltender Tim Howard who put on an excellent showing in net.

I'm glad the world cup is on, it brings the world together for one month and is the only time I can get interested in watching soccer. Soccer outside of international play here in the states is nothing but a fucking joke, I'd rather watch curling. However, when the world is on stage and the time to shine is bright I love watching nations compete against one another, no matter what foreign affair issues are happening at present time.

Perhaps Ill speak more to you about this on MSN, as for me, it is time to crawl back under my rock with my fine Jamaican smoke and bottle of Absinthe, until next time....

*Edit* The way Green allowed the goal reminded me of Bill Buckner for the Boston Red Sox in the 1986 World Series where he let a routine ground ball go under his legs to lose game six and ultimately the world series, continuing Boston's 86 year long world series drought which ended in 2004.
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Re: Animal's World CUp 2010 DiarY

Post by weedguru_animal » Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:28 am

antartica v Krouts

No starting striker for the socceroos. Not often I see that. Especially when facing a team of Germany's stature and eagerness to not only beat opponents, but crush and destroy them in the process. It will be that ratbastad pimp Cahill, with Garcia, to lead the australian midfield offence. Which seems like a recipe for disaster...Inviting the germans onto you, is not wise, unless you are Italy.

Joachim Low...suave. movie star looks.

I am eager to see the keeper, Neur, as the krouts have a wonderful history of producing top drawer shot stoppers.

Now is the time to see what Verbeek is made of. Can he mastermind a draw or a 1 or 2 goal defeat, which, bearing in mind the vast gulf of class between these teams, would be a success.

The German number 8...who I presume is the turkish fiend Ozil, has fish eyes.
Klose...the evil eagle.
Close up of Lahm's eyes is...fearsome.

As is always the case with the Germs, I see in their countenances, something dark, treachorous, mean...Kohler...Moller...Lahm...Hamann...Voller...Martin Bormann...they are the human equivalent of the despicable rabbits in watershit down...Still, as a footballing nation, I respect them, for they have an uncanny ability of ALWAYS hitting the ground running. And I have read, from reliable sources, talk of THIS krout offering, being one of the finest for many years.

Smiling Mexican ref. Sturdy in his gait.

Early half chance for antartica...Scrambler in the box...Comfortable save for Neur...

Here comes Klose...powers header at goal.Saved.

9' GOAAAAAAAL...1-0 to the Germs! Podolski the scorer, hammer strike from his left boot. Beautifully made, attacking with pace and crisp passing,arriving late in the box, the Arian menace hits it first time, too powerful for all but a bear to block...the pressure HAD been mounting.

Sami Khedira...the german arab.

FishFace Ozil, booked for scandalous dive...looks sheepish as he trundles back towards the halfway line...

Klose miss...the eagle ever close to making his mark..

Moore booked for telling linesman to 'Fuk Off back to the banana boat he arrived on'...or at least that is how I lipread his angry tirade...

26' 2-0 GOOOOAAAAAL...The eagle has landed!!! Lovely crossfield ball into the box, perfect jump by Klose...The Lahm cross was world class...

Lucas Neil clears FishFace's shot off the line...should have been 3-0////

Cheeky Lahm offers one on a plate to Khedira...but he fucks it...

Ozil through one on one with the keeper...saved.

66' GOAL...Mouller...3-0...Clever turn, smart finish. well deserved.

And who is this??? Cacaou...a german brazillian????

GOALLLLL...4-0...Its the black krout, Cacaou, with perhaps his second touch of the game...Lovely pass from Ozil...in it goes...for number 4.



Final Score 4-0

antartica did very well indeed...to avoid the score moving closer to 10-0, than 4-0. Much of that was luck, part of it was rustiness on the part of the Germans, but...any Aussie, who exclaims...ridicuously 'if only Cahill had buried that early half chance', then they should be hung, for if we are to count half chances, as well as decent chances, then the europeans would win 30-3. Such was their complete, unwavering dominance. The socceroos are far less than they were 4 years back, when under the guidance of Managerial DemiGod, Goose Hiddink. Starting without one recognized out and out striker, against one of the most efficient attacking teams in the world game, is nothing short of ignorance. Its akin to putting your hand in a snake pit without gloves on. For these snakes ARE going to bite, over and over and over again...and the australian interests would have surely been better served by adding a threat of their own, in front of goal, to the match. Of course, major credit to the germans, who looked damn impressive, but...it MUSt be said, that antartica were woeful. Their defenders, at least the central duo of Moore and Neil, are solid, but lacking football intelligence, so when they are up against a team, whose midfield, EVERY time they attack, makes diagonal runs, across the defence, dumb defenders are bewildered...Follow the Man??? Or cover the space??? Unfortunately, Moore and Neil, are unable to take those crunch decisions optimally. And so...HUGE gaps were appearing in their defence, every time the krouts went forward. quite why bresciano and kewell weren't given a run out, is beyond me, for even if you are getting pummelled, as antartica most definitely were, from start to finish, of this truly one sided battle, still, its worth giving your best players the chance to dip their toes in the water and get ready to swim. Take a taste...so they are more ready for the next games, which now appear seriously crucial to the socceroos, if they are to maintain ANY hope of progressing...As for the Germans. They were fucking superb. Easily the best team I have seen thus far. With only the Argies likely to bother them. I saw none of their players break sweat, and the swagger in their step and play, seemed more suited to a training match, than a group match at the world cup finals. Scwheinsteiger, Lahm, Mertsacker, Ozil, Podolski, Muller, Neur...were all superb, leaving the aussies hopeful of never meeting them again. Passing was crisp, defence was not at all tested, and when going foward, in search off blood, they meant business. Klose could have had a hatrick...ALL the goals were quality, which should be of some consolation to their opponents, though I doubt it will be taken as so. Unsurprisingly, we have learned from this game, that antartica is wretched, and the Germans are a very serious threat, for as always, they have hit the ground running...

Man of the Match: Lahm...never gave the ball away cheaply, supported the attacks, created a goal, rivalling Maicon, for me, as the most useful fullback in the world.

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