Consoling An Old Friend

Got a problem? - Get counseling from the gurus

Moderator: Moderators

Post Reply
User avatar
blacky0g
Casual toker
Casual toker
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Dec 14, 2010 2:38 am
Location: New York City
Contact:

Consoling An Old Friend

Post by blacky0g » Tue Jul 03, 2012 1:54 am

My friend has gone through a death close to her but I'm not sure if she's comfortable talking about it, I'm usually good at helping people,lately i haven't been knowing how to help show her since she doesn't want to talk, I understand that maybe she wants to grieve alone, I just care about her and want to show her that and help her through this but I'm unsure how to best do that. Any advice or wisdom is appreciated :)

User avatar
leprechaun
Bonghead
Bonghead
Posts: 455
Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2007 3:33 pm
Location: Co. Antrim
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by leprechaun » Tue Jul 03, 2012 9:27 am

Usually my role in these kind of situations is to talk about everything else. Unless they mention to you, I try to just carry on as normal. I know that kinda sounds a bit horrible, but i like to think that it takes their mind off it for a little while, instead of talking or thinking about it, then her mind for a little while will be talking, thinking about something different, say, how your day in work was...... (i'm sure there's something better, but i can't think of one right now).

As i say however, this is only what i tend to do... but i wont always do it. Everything really does depend on context, and context can change from person to person and time to time. I know that last bit doesn't help at all, but it's just to emphasize how difficult it is to get these things right. So if anything, approach with caution.

Lastly, sorry to hear your news. I hope all turns out ok.
Four star familiar.

Image

User avatar
blacky0g
Casual toker
Casual toker
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Dec 14, 2010 2:38 am
Location: New York City
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by blacky0g » Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:34 pm

I understand what you mean. I'm gunna avoid the subject til she wants to talk about it. Thank you for the advice it helped a lot

User avatar
AbbyRoad
Ganja God
Ganja God
Posts: 4342
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:09 am
Location: Sarnia
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by AbbyRoad » Tue Jul 03, 2012 11:15 pm

i would have said pretty much exactly the same as leprechaun.

sometimes just knowing the world is still going on, and that caring people are close helps.
Image

User avatar
omnific.dc
Herbal Assassin
Herbal Assassin
Posts: 659
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2012 10:30 am
Location: ..not home.
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by omnific.dc » Fri Jul 06, 2012 1:11 pm

I always talk about killing myself but when it comes to it I chicken out.

User avatar
blacky0g
Casual toker
Casual toker
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Dec 14, 2010 2:38 am
Location: New York City
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by blacky0g » Sat Jul 07, 2012 2:17 pm

I went to the beach with her and her family on the 4th of July and she told me it had been her older sister's baby daddy that had passed away, he drown while drunk at the beach.

User avatar
omnific.dc
Herbal Assassin
Herbal Assassin
Posts: 659
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2012 10:30 am
Location: ..not home.
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by omnific.dc » Sat Jul 07, 2012 5:39 pm

What an utter waste. RIP.

User avatar
AbbyRoad
Ganja God
Ganja God
Posts: 4342
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:09 am
Location: Sarnia
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by AbbyRoad » Sat Jul 07, 2012 7:11 pm

one of my friends in high school drowned at the beach...

im sorry to hear for your friends loss
Image

User avatar
weedguru_animal
Ganja God
Ganja God
Posts: 6635
Joined: Tue Jul 16, 2002 6:07 pm
Location: south
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by weedguru_animal » Mon Jul 23, 2012 10:18 am

My beloved sinhalese brother from work is more increasingly daily talking of his dear mother, shrinking, the life literally ebbing from her bones and eyes, leaving him feeling impotent and morbid...She is in her 90s, but what the fuck difference does that make to a son to a mother??? Death becomes us all, the likely total end of such a thing drives a few, instills terror in many, and is avoided by the many...What I told the aforementioned Jay today, was something along the lines of...:
WE ARE DEAD MEN WALKING. ITS THOSE WHO REALIZE AND APPRECIATE LIFE WHICH I GRAVITATE TOWARDS AND STRIVE TO MAKE ONE OF MY TRIBE, AS YOU DO MY DARK SKINNED BROTHER...I UNDERSTAND, AND FEEL YOUR GROWING GRIEF, BUT I ALSO FEEL YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER, FOR YOUR WIFE, FOR ME...SO FUCK THIS TALK OF 'MY FAMILY ARE BETTER OF FINANCIALLY IF I AM DEAD' FOR THE $$$$$ THEY COULD GET FROM YOUR UNTIMELY DEMISE MEANS NOTHING WHEN SET AGAINST THE LOVE YOU CAN GIVE THEM WHEN ALIVE...SO BE DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT, I GIVE YOU MY WORD, WHEN YOU ARE OLD AND SHRINKING AWAY, I WILL SHOOT YOU, BUT FUCK THAT DR DEATH, YOU HAVE DECADES LEFT TO BE AS YOU, WHICH IS WONDERFUL, RIGHTEOUS AND LOVING...LONG MAY IT CONTINUE.
Image
News, football and ranting
http://thedissolutefox.com/

User avatar
omnific.dc
Herbal Assassin
Herbal Assassin
Posts: 659
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2012 10:30 am
Location: ..not home.
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by omnific.dc » Wed Jul 25, 2012 5:54 pm

Too much.. >.<

User avatar
leprechaun
Bonghead
Bonghead
Posts: 455
Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2007 3:33 pm
Location: Co. Antrim
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by leprechaun » Thu Jul 26, 2012 10:27 am

omnific.dc wrote:Too much.. >.<
omnific.dc wrote:I always talk about killing myself but when it comes to it I chicken out.
Considering this was a thread where he was asking for advice........ :ohjeez: Oh the irony......

Woe, oh woe, oh woe is me.
Four star familiar.

Image

User avatar
AbbyRoad
Ganja God
Ganja God
Posts: 4342
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:09 am
Location: Sarnia
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by AbbyRoad » Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:20 pm

im confused
Image

User avatar
omnific.dc
Herbal Assassin
Herbal Assassin
Posts: 659
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2012 10:30 am
Location: ..not home.
Contact:

Re: Consoling An Old Friend

Post by omnific.dc » Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:05 pm

Now.
Here here animal.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users