Football Jokes

Funny pictures, jokes, website links, put 'em all in here!

Moderator: Moderators

Post Reply
User avatar
Midnight Toker
Sir Toke-a-lot
Sir Toke-a-lot
Posts: 3463
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2003 9:55 pm
Location: England

Football Jokes

Post by Midnight Toker » Wed Dec 28, 2005 1:43 am

Non brits may as well look away now.

Arsene Wenger, Alex Ferguson and Jose Mourinho are killed in a plane crash on the way to a UEFA summit meeting in Switzerland. As they reach the gates of heaven, they see God sat on his throne. First, he turns to Wenger and says, ''Tell me Arsene, what qualities do you most respect in a person?''

''Humility, Respect and Love,'' replies the Frenchman.

''I like that,'' replies the Big Man, ''Come sit at my left hand''

He then turns to Ferguson and ask the same question, to which the Scot replies ''Courage, fortitude and generosity.''

''You talk good sense,'' replies the lord, ''Come sit at my right hand.''

He then turns to Mourinho, who as staring at God with utter contempt.

He asks, ''What's wrong, my child?''

''Your sitting in my seat, you big twat.''

Why are Arsenal like a 3 pin plug? Both are completely useless in Europe.

Why do NASA send their astronauts to train at Highbury? Cuz it's the only place with no atmosphere

What's the difference between a hedgehog and the United team bus? On a Hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside.
[img]http://img155.exs.cx/img155/7595/tillijk2ss.png[/img]

''I spent alot of money on booze, birds
and fast cars. The rest i just squandered.'' - George Best

User avatar
Khronic
Herbal Assassin
Herbal Assassin
Posts: 646
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2005 7:04 pm
Location: Oxford, UK
Contact:

Post by Khronic » Wed Dec 28, 2005 1:49 am

HAHAHA :lol:

Fucking hilarious
[img]http://www.horkulated.com/images/gifs/floppykill.gif[/img]

Brad
Why Hello There !
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2003 6:06 pm
Contact:

Post by Brad » Thu May 25, 2006 10:53 pm

whats the difference between chelsea and a dartboard?


chelsea have no doubles or trebles

User avatar
PaRoL
Casual toker
Casual toker
Posts: 60
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:50 pm
Location: Where do you live?
Contact:

Post by PaRoL » Mon Sep 04, 2006 8:06 am

Yea ur right.. im not british and i thought wtf is he talking about? lol
"High", "Chill", "Eat", "Repeat".

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users